Top 10 Best and Worst Eurobeat Songs of All Time
Posted: 16 Apr 2018, 07:37
We've done plenty of top/bottom lists before, but I'm not sure if we've quite done this before, at least not in a very long time. I'll start off with my personal picks...
Top 10 Best:
1. Christine - Story of My Life - I listen to this song on a constant basis. I always really liked it from the start, but it was only after I realized just how many times I would keep coming back to it that I found myself declaring it the greatest eurobeat song of all time. Why is this somber aishu obscurity from an oft-forgotten Maharaja Night compilation such a masterpiece? Several reasons, all of which are individually significant. The lyrics aren't just another plea for love or indulgence of it, but rather something a lot more introspective and serious. They're about dreaming for something grand, yet with nothing to put that goal into perspective except for a difficult-to-find confidence and courage to face a threatening, decaying world. These emotions are expressed eloquently and poetically, without being overly pretentious, thus allowing the devastated and melancholic verses to bridge perfectly into the passionately hopeful chorus. In addition to the great lyrics, the production and musical progression are spot-on beautiful. The backdrops deftly switch between a hammond organ, a xylophone, and an aishu synth, creating a dynamic soundworld, yet they're all blended together so flowingly with a subtle yet propulsive synth layer and soft, gentle mixing. The result is a song with a deep, forlorn mood, yet also a dreamy, uplifting atmosphere of fantasy, thus resonating with my emotions to the very core in a way no other eurobeat song can achieve. It's a wholesomely moving song, yet the fact that it's also eurobeat means it's also able to keep up with my fast, chirpy rhythm of life.
2. Shyla & Cindy Cooper - Touch Me - The Dima production to beat all other Dima productions. Every note and beat of this feels like it was meant to sweep the listener away, and the whole thing is an absolute blast of eurobeat glory.
3. Bombers - Hi Hi Mazinga - This song is kind of looney, but it's also such an exciting, power-packed anthem at the same time. It's a treasure of pure fun with its unique melodic progression, rave hits, and delightfully hammy vocals from both Mauro Farina and his backup chorus.
4. Ciao Ciao - Seventeen - Hi-NRG Attack has no shortage of hyperkinetic female anthems, but this seems to stand proud above all the rest because not only does it have such an explosive synth hook and a fantastic melodic progression, but the chorus is built upon one of the most powerful sentiments ever in the genre. The feisty synths and melodies are a perfect compliment to the impassioned fantasy of youth, romance, and bliss so enthusiastically delivered by the classic Bazooka Girl vocalist here.
5. Mad Max - Don't Break My Heart - In my opinion, this is the most epic classic testosterone eurobeat anthem of all time. It has me absolutely floored from start to finish, from its breathtaking intro, to its rollercoaster synth hook, to its adrenalized backgrounds, to its gritty, raspy, yet simultaneously romantic vocals, to its effective female harmonization, this is a classic through and through. Mad Max songs in general were absolutely brilliant, but this wins by just a small margin.
6. Stephy Martini - Fall in Love - Something about this song really clicks. No other eurobeat song evokes such a strong aura of romantic fantasy and bliss. It's a relatively straightforward love song at a glance, but subtle details like the integrated piano, Stefania's rich vocals, Clara's beautiful harmonies, the varied synth hook, the passionate chorus, and the solid sense of development come together to form a true masterpiece. Very close to "Fall in Love" is "Dream on Dream", which has strong production qualities and a true incentive of empowerment.
7. King & Queen - Up Side Down - A-Beat C was always on a roll with its multi-woman productions, but this has to be the strongest of them all. The synth is absolutely killer, but what sets it over the top especially is how the verses and chorus are no less catchy the already phenomenal main hook, ensuring that this explosive song never loses an inch of momentum all the way through. Gotta love the synth solo later on, too!
8. Christine - Because the Night - I can't help it, Christine has always been one of my favourite eurobeat singers of all time, right from the time I first got into the genre. She has recorded countless songs that I absolutely adore, but this one is just pitch-perfect in its simplicity. The acoustic guitar synth in the intro, the subtlety somber mood, the elegantly melancholic melodic progression, the affected vocal performance, the deeply relatable lyrics, every single little detail comes together to produce something profoundly accessible and beautiful. I absolutely never get tired of it.
9. Za-Za - It's Only Love - Za-Za was always the most exotic alias in eurobeat history. Aside from the by-the-numbers "Love & Money", anything with this artist attached to it was guaranteed to be a quirky, hyperactive hodgepodge of splendor. I could have just as easily went with "Come and Go" or "In the Heart of Rome" here, but "It's Only Love" has especially captivated me over the years thanks to its eerie vocals, infectious lyrical details, and powerful production.
10. Dave Rodgers feat. Alex De Rosso - Burning Like Fire - Classic Dave eurobeat done to its very, very finest. This used to be neck-and-neck with "Beat of the Rising Sun", but Internet trolls have sort of ruined the latter, unfortunately.
Top 10 Worst:
1. Mega NRG Man - People Like Dancing - This is a song that makes you feel like your soul is being sucked away, quite seriously. It's intended as an upbeat party song, but its flat, overstuffed production throws me in a dizzy, zombified trance that isn't soothing stress relief so much as an onset of heaving depression. It's actually scary to hear this song, not because it's chillingly dark like Candy Taylor's "Scandal" but more because it's a borderline traumatic listening experience.
2. Overload - Foxy Lady - This sours my mood from the very first second. That nauseating major key progression, combined with Simone Valeo's severely shaky voice and an overbearingly chipper tone, make this one of the most contrived pieces of auditory poison ever.
3. Nikita Jr. - Happy Snappy Valentine - A lot like "Foxy Lady", this is one of the most obnoxiously peppy eurobeat songs of all time. It's sheer juvenile annoyance, though it's not quite as high on this list as "Foxy Lady" because it at least has a clearer point.
4. Remy Panther - Hot Like a Fire - This is like every single negative stereotype about eurobeat rolled into one. It literally feels like this was slapped together with as much corner-cutting as possible.
5. Kasanova - Hug Me - Kasanova songs are, far and large, generic schlock, but this is a special level of pathetic due to its embarrassingly weak lyrical sentiment.
6. P. Stone - Kosmic Woofer - The title is really dumb, but other than that, I can't quite explain why this is so utterly atrocious to my ears. I love most of Claudio Magnani's songs at Hi-NRG Attack, but this is somehow sorely lacking in focus or direction, instead coming off as overbearing noise.
7. Tokyo Future - Listen to Eurobeat - The ironic thing about this song is that if you lower its pitch by just one half-tone, bringing Nando's vocals back to their natural level, this track is pretty good. However, because Leonardi decided to raise it, the resulting product is an aggressive earworm that's made even more unbearable by its lyrical theme. As much as I wish eurobeat had been able to spread to a wider audience, this is the absolute worst possible song to do that with because it accentuates all of the traits people find most annoying about the genre. They're so acute here that even I can't handle them, and I generally have quite the stomach for cheese. The negative effect of the hyped up vocals on the entire rest of this song is amazingly severe – Nando goes from a smooth savant to a leeching Poindexter just because of a minor software trick.
8. Mirka - 10,000 Lovers - Another amateurish mess from A-Beat C's shaky experimental phrase in the early '90s. The vocals are drowned out by the excessive reverb, the production sounds flat all the way through, and "10,000 lovers in 1" is easily one of the cheesiest, most cringeworthy lyrics in eurobeat history.
9. Norma Sheffield - For Your Love - I'm barely a fan of anything Norma Sheffield has recorded, but this is probably the wispiest, most pathetic song she ever put out through her career as a Milli Vanilli-type act.
10. Vicky Vale - Do With Me - I'm of the belief this was an intentionally horrible song, that Laurent Newfield wanted to go out with as much of a whimper as possible, due to his disillusionment with Avex at the time. He certainly succeeded in producing one of the most half-assed, underwritten turds ever to show up on Super Eurobeat.
Top 10 Best:
1. Christine - Story of My Life - I listen to this song on a constant basis. I always really liked it from the start, but it was only after I realized just how many times I would keep coming back to it that I found myself declaring it the greatest eurobeat song of all time. Why is this somber aishu obscurity from an oft-forgotten Maharaja Night compilation such a masterpiece? Several reasons, all of which are individually significant. The lyrics aren't just another plea for love or indulgence of it, but rather something a lot more introspective and serious. They're about dreaming for something grand, yet with nothing to put that goal into perspective except for a difficult-to-find confidence and courage to face a threatening, decaying world. These emotions are expressed eloquently and poetically, without being overly pretentious, thus allowing the devastated and melancholic verses to bridge perfectly into the passionately hopeful chorus. In addition to the great lyrics, the production and musical progression are spot-on beautiful. The backdrops deftly switch between a hammond organ, a xylophone, and an aishu synth, creating a dynamic soundworld, yet they're all blended together so flowingly with a subtle yet propulsive synth layer and soft, gentle mixing. The result is a song with a deep, forlorn mood, yet also a dreamy, uplifting atmosphere of fantasy, thus resonating with my emotions to the very core in a way no other eurobeat song can achieve. It's a wholesomely moving song, yet the fact that it's also eurobeat means it's also able to keep up with my fast, chirpy rhythm of life.
2. Shyla & Cindy Cooper - Touch Me - The Dima production to beat all other Dima productions. Every note and beat of this feels like it was meant to sweep the listener away, and the whole thing is an absolute blast of eurobeat glory.
3. Bombers - Hi Hi Mazinga - This song is kind of looney, but it's also such an exciting, power-packed anthem at the same time. It's a treasure of pure fun with its unique melodic progression, rave hits, and delightfully hammy vocals from both Mauro Farina and his backup chorus.
4. Ciao Ciao - Seventeen - Hi-NRG Attack has no shortage of hyperkinetic female anthems, but this seems to stand proud above all the rest because not only does it have such an explosive synth hook and a fantastic melodic progression, but the chorus is built upon one of the most powerful sentiments ever in the genre. The feisty synths and melodies are a perfect compliment to the impassioned fantasy of youth, romance, and bliss so enthusiastically delivered by the classic Bazooka Girl vocalist here.
5. Mad Max - Don't Break My Heart - In my opinion, this is the most epic classic testosterone eurobeat anthem of all time. It has me absolutely floored from start to finish, from its breathtaking intro, to its rollercoaster synth hook, to its adrenalized backgrounds, to its gritty, raspy, yet simultaneously romantic vocals, to its effective female harmonization, this is a classic through and through. Mad Max songs in general were absolutely brilliant, but this wins by just a small margin.
6. Stephy Martini - Fall in Love - Something about this song really clicks. No other eurobeat song evokes such a strong aura of romantic fantasy and bliss. It's a relatively straightforward love song at a glance, but subtle details like the integrated piano, Stefania's rich vocals, Clara's beautiful harmonies, the varied synth hook, the passionate chorus, and the solid sense of development come together to form a true masterpiece. Very close to "Fall in Love" is "Dream on Dream", which has strong production qualities and a true incentive of empowerment.
7. King & Queen - Up Side Down - A-Beat C was always on a roll with its multi-woman productions, but this has to be the strongest of them all. The synth is absolutely killer, but what sets it over the top especially is how the verses and chorus are no less catchy the already phenomenal main hook, ensuring that this explosive song never loses an inch of momentum all the way through. Gotta love the synth solo later on, too!
8. Christine - Because the Night - I can't help it, Christine has always been one of my favourite eurobeat singers of all time, right from the time I first got into the genre. She has recorded countless songs that I absolutely adore, but this one is just pitch-perfect in its simplicity. The acoustic guitar synth in the intro, the subtlety somber mood, the elegantly melancholic melodic progression, the affected vocal performance, the deeply relatable lyrics, every single little detail comes together to produce something profoundly accessible and beautiful. I absolutely never get tired of it.
9. Za-Za - It's Only Love - Za-Za was always the most exotic alias in eurobeat history. Aside from the by-the-numbers "Love & Money", anything with this artist attached to it was guaranteed to be a quirky, hyperactive hodgepodge of splendor. I could have just as easily went with "Come and Go" or "In the Heart of Rome" here, but "It's Only Love" has especially captivated me over the years thanks to its eerie vocals, infectious lyrical details, and powerful production.
10. Dave Rodgers feat. Alex De Rosso - Burning Like Fire - Classic Dave eurobeat done to its very, very finest. This used to be neck-and-neck with "Beat of the Rising Sun", but Internet trolls have sort of ruined the latter, unfortunately.
Top 10 Worst:
1. Mega NRG Man - People Like Dancing - This is a song that makes you feel like your soul is being sucked away, quite seriously. It's intended as an upbeat party song, but its flat, overstuffed production throws me in a dizzy, zombified trance that isn't soothing stress relief so much as an onset of heaving depression. It's actually scary to hear this song, not because it's chillingly dark like Candy Taylor's "Scandal" but more because it's a borderline traumatic listening experience.
2. Overload - Foxy Lady - This sours my mood from the very first second. That nauseating major key progression, combined with Simone Valeo's severely shaky voice and an overbearingly chipper tone, make this one of the most contrived pieces of auditory poison ever.
3. Nikita Jr. - Happy Snappy Valentine - A lot like "Foxy Lady", this is one of the most obnoxiously peppy eurobeat songs of all time. It's sheer juvenile annoyance, though it's not quite as high on this list as "Foxy Lady" because it at least has a clearer point.
4. Remy Panther - Hot Like a Fire - This is like every single negative stereotype about eurobeat rolled into one. It literally feels like this was slapped together with as much corner-cutting as possible.
5. Kasanova - Hug Me - Kasanova songs are, far and large, generic schlock, but this is a special level of pathetic due to its embarrassingly weak lyrical sentiment.
6. P. Stone - Kosmic Woofer - The title is really dumb, but other than that, I can't quite explain why this is so utterly atrocious to my ears. I love most of Claudio Magnani's songs at Hi-NRG Attack, but this is somehow sorely lacking in focus or direction, instead coming off as overbearing noise.
7. Tokyo Future - Listen to Eurobeat - The ironic thing about this song is that if you lower its pitch by just one half-tone, bringing Nando's vocals back to their natural level, this track is pretty good. However, because Leonardi decided to raise it, the resulting product is an aggressive earworm that's made even more unbearable by its lyrical theme. As much as I wish eurobeat had been able to spread to a wider audience, this is the absolute worst possible song to do that with because it accentuates all of the traits people find most annoying about the genre. They're so acute here that even I can't handle them, and I generally have quite the stomach for cheese. The negative effect of the hyped up vocals on the entire rest of this song is amazingly severe – Nando goes from a smooth savant to a leeching Poindexter just because of a minor software trick.
8. Mirka - 10,000 Lovers - Another amateurish mess from A-Beat C's shaky experimental phrase in the early '90s. The vocals are drowned out by the excessive reverb, the production sounds flat all the way through, and "10,000 lovers in 1" is easily one of the cheesiest, most cringeworthy lyrics in eurobeat history.
9. Norma Sheffield - For Your Love - I'm barely a fan of anything Norma Sheffield has recorded, but this is probably the wispiest, most pathetic song she ever put out through her career as a Milli Vanilli-type act.
10. Vicky Vale - Do With Me - I'm of the belief this was an intentionally horrible song, that Laurent Newfield wanted to go out with as much of a whimper as possible, due to his disillusionment with Avex at the time. He certainly succeeded in producing one of the most half-assed, underwritten turds ever to show up on Super Eurobeat.
Maybe Top50 is the least, enough number... Top10 is good when you rate a band or one label.
I've never read any decidedly critique towards any Eurobeat tracks by Bratt Sinclaire.
