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Toni · Post by **Toni** » 23 May 2006, 09:13

Thanks for the critsism and tips! It really helps me with arranging the sounds!

I think with adding a second line of vocals and polishing up the vocals a lot would improve. Adding and extra beat-drum or doubling the instrumental section will also add a lot more energy to the song... I just got out of bed, but my head is full if inspiration!

Thanks a lot!

*injects energy

Toni · Post by **Toni** » 23 May 2006, 13:12

I have a newer version of the song. The sound has become more full and I've added some extra beats and bassdrums for the energetic effects.

Maybe I should do the Sabi all over again... It sounds off

http://toniproductions.nl/Resources/The_Ocean.mp3

Shinraikan · Post by **Shinraikan** » 23 May 2006, 13:32

Pretty good stuff! I wouldn't mind playing around with a remix if you have the acapella lying around.

Mikaeru · Post by **Mikaeru** » 23 May 2006, 17:55

Well, got another song written. Not sure who I'm gonna get to sing it, definately female. I'm back in the land of pseudo-Norma Sheffield, I think. Although I actually wrote it more with a Melissa White-style vocal in mind. Well, comments, anyone...?

Why Don't You Cry

Why did you say you loved me, baby
Why did you say you cared for me
I know the truth, and my heart is achin'
Achin' just for me

So, you want me in your life now
No, I don't want to hear it
So, it was just the one time
Now it's time to go

Why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry with your other lover
Why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry...
Baby, why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry in another cover
Why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry for me

Why did you think I wouldn't find out
Why did you think I would not see
I know it hurts, and your heart is achin'
Achin' just for me

lrxevan · Post by **lrxevan** » 23 May 2006, 19:30

This is a long time coming. It's a song called "Run With Us" by Spray and I hope you enjoy my remix. Great song, Jenny is a very talented vocalist.

http://piuzone.com/Spray - Run With Us (R.I.S.E.'s Eurobeat Remix).mp3.zip

You have to copy and paste the link.

UQ100 · Post by **UQ100** » 24 May 2006, 08:26

Toni wrote:Anyway, I've produced yet another song.

Sea Man - The Ocean

Well, there are some nice ideas here, I like the concept.

Advice: Put some breathing space/rests in the lead melody, don't just sing each line non-stop. Sometimes these can be quite short or almost part of the phrasing.

How about something like this (just the first verse sung here... I seem to have turned it into a melodic rock song, but you should get the idea):

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?a ... 0341288E99

Toni · Post by **Toni** » 24 May 2006, 09:21

@Shinraikan: I'll be glad to send you the acapella version of my song! But first I have to do something about the Sabi... (read on: )

@UQ100: LAWL! Why thank you! This helps quite a bit! I'm gonna try it out today! *but first I have to clean up the cat's litter box, hover the living room and my own room

Living on my own is sometimes a real b•tch

@Irxevan: Wow! This remix is really good! I like how you used the dance beat in combination with the synths! It makes the song really sound like it was remixed by Saifam. Still, it sounds a bit too 'empty'. There should be another synth layer under the main layer and an extra more clear bassline. Try out different instruments, even instruments you don't think that will fit can sound good in the end!

@Mikaeru: You are massively inspired by TIME and SCP aren't you? Your latest song sounds really nice too, but it's not really my piece of pie... To me your songs always sound like they are about to fly away like a feather. I'm more of a straightforward synth riff and tight beats like Saifam and the rough ABeatC style... But that's just me

UQ100 · Post by **UQ100** » 24 May 2006, 09:56

Toni wrote:@UQ100: LAWL! Why thank you! This helps quite a bit! I'm gonna try it out today! *but first I have to clean up the cat's litter box, hover the living room and my own room Living on my own is sometimes a real b•tch

My singing that bad, eh?

You're welcome, look forward to hearing it!

Toni · Post by **Toni** » 24 May 2006, 15:15

UQ100 wrote:My singing that bad, eh?

You're welcome, look forward to hearing it!

Hahaha, well it was quite a help!

Here's the updated and remastered version:
http://toniproductions.nl/Resources/The_Ocean.mp3

The acapella will be put online later. I'm now going for a booze in the pub! :9

Mikaeru · Post by **Mikaeru** » 24 May 2006, 15:48

Toni wrote:@Mikaeru: You are massively inspired by TIME and SCP aren't you? Your latest song sounds really nice too, but it's not really my piece of pie... To me your songs always sound like they are about to fly away like a feather. I'm more of a straightforward synth riff and tight beats like Saifam and the rough ABeatC style... But that's just me

SCP very much yes, Time I suppose I can kind of hear, but I'm not much of a Time fan. I always thought I had a bit of Vibration influence, but I think I've lost most of that. But yeah, I'm more of a fan of either the calm Norma Sheffieldy stuff, the trance-inspired eurobeat or hyper-girly.

the_ditz · Post by **the_ditz** » 24 May 2006, 16:00

lrxevan wrote:This is a long time coming. It's a song called "Run With Us" by Spray and I hope you enjoy my remix. Great song, Jenny is a very talented vocalist.

http://piuzone.com/Spray - Run With Us (R.I.S.E.'s Eurobeat Remix).mp3.zip

You have to copy and paste the link.

Wow, this is awesome mate! You could do with some layered synth chords in the chorus just to fill things out a bit, and the main synth hook needs another layer just to give it a more complete sound. But you've done an excellent job with an awesome song!

If you want to hear my attempt at Eurobeat (with Shinraikan), check out the latest sample of "Jupiter - Fascination" on The Paradise Last's website here - http://paradise.bahamutforever.net - just excuse the low volume level of the vocals, it needs remastered! Feedback is appreciated though

UQ100 · Post by **UQ100** » 24 May 2006, 16:15

Mikaeru wrote:But yeah, I'm more of a fan of either the calm Norma Sheffieldy stuff, the trance-inspired eurobeat or hyper-girly.

What's hyper-girly?

Jayveemon · Post by **Jayveemon** » 24 May 2006, 16:49

My guess would be something like pun pun beam.

Mikaeru · Post by **Mikaeru** » 24 May 2006, 17:55

Yeah, but more closer to SCP's Kiki & Kika or Fancy without or without Goofy DJ.

UQ100 · Post by **UQ100** » 29 May 2006, 21:09

Mikaeru wrote:Well, got another song written. Not sure who I'm gonna get to sing it, definately female. I'm back in the land of pseudo-Norma Sheffield, I think. Although I actually wrote it more with a Melissa White-style vocal in mind. Well, comments, anyone...?

OK, production advice this time... seems that most of your recordings are clipping? "Don't Say Goodbye" doesn't (well, it doesn't exceed 0dBfs) but it's unmastered, so I guess it's happening with the compression or other processing you're using for mastering.

(Again, I don't want to appear like an ass here, I could just write "Quite good!" or something but I think it's actually "nicer" of me to post useful info.)

Why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry with your other lover
Why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry...
Baby, why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry in another cover
Why don't you cry for me tonight
Why don't you cry for me

Well, I see you tried repeating the title.

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